August

Halfway through a month of Sundays.

It takes me approximately seven hours to fall asleep each night. I start by changing into my tiger pajamas and doing my bedtime routine: brushing, flossing, then applying a myriad of lotions and potions that promise to erase fine lines, brighten skin, and turn me into a mysteriously beautiful witch who confounds the villagers by aging in reverse.

Then I get into bed, and the battle begins.